Fashion, God, Life, Family and Inspirational Solace

29 November 2013

Is He Really Mr Right?

'My beloved is mine and I am his; he feedeth among the lilies. Songs of Solomon 2:16'

Hello everyone, how are you all doing? Happy Thanksgiving to you too. We are back again on 'Love Matters' Yes I  know some ladies who are still single and who wants to get married to someone they love would read this and evaluate their relationship if they are involved in any right now.

Let's ponder on today's question 'Is He Really Mr Right' How sure are you? Here are some vital tips that could help you analyze the man in your life.

1. Don't Settle For Less
    You don't want a man who's just okay, do you? No! You want Mr. Right! Start by making a list of good qualities that you want in a man, differences between you that you can work out, and deal breakers - the things you just can't live with. There are activities you can share with other friends, but they aren't fundamental to the relationship. . Love shouldn't be conditional, and it makes no sense changing who you are for someone else. Guys can be tricky and if you see particular qualities in them that don't add up with your original plan, dump him! It can only lead to heartbreak in the future. Allow yourself to turn back at the first signs of a shipwreck even if you like this guy a whole lot. It will be better for you in the long run if you can be strong enough very early on to realize that the differences you've already seen will mean the relationship is doomed.

2. Belief System: 
  Do you share the same beliefs? Both of you have to be on the same page when it comes to what you believe. Yes the bible says we shouldn't be unequally yoked with unbelievers sometimes even people who go to church and all that still don't believe that Jesus is our Saviour even when they  hear it all the time, remember its not just for you but for your future kids too.

3. Avoid manipulative and controlling men:
If a guy starts saying 'if you leave me you can never find anyone better than me' he is a time bomb, love is unconditional which means when you go out with your girls he isnt jealous and it doesn't mean you love him less, someone who wants you all to himself all the time and he leaves you no breathing space such a man you should run from immediately. Be yourself, you don't have to be him, be you, be who you are. And yes not forgetting a man who would tell you whom you should speak with or who, or a man who tells you to dump all your friends and your family members is certainly not Mr Right for you. Stay clear from a man who wants to know who just called you, who texted you, how many friends you got on facebook and asks you to explain how you knew each one of them lol that man is controlling. Flee dearie flee.

4. Rush Not:
Don't rush into any relationship you are not really sure of, be patient, get to know him first, pray about it, ask God if he is the right one for you, before you say yes to his proposal get to know who his family is, his background, his likes, his dislikes, his habits both good and bad. Take time out and ask yourself if you are ready to spend the rest of your life with him. 

5. Communication
How often do you communicate? Who does the calling more? You or him? A man who cant call you often and gives you excuses upon excuses like 'oh I am a very busy person' would be more than busy when you marry him.If he doesnt see a need to want to speak to the love of his life then its time to move on, baby he wont have time for you when you are married. You shouldnt do most of the calling not at all infact he should do most of the calling. I remember before I got married while I was in Nigeria my husband was here in the UK, he did most of the calling, I might even have credit on my phone but I would beep him then he used to call me 'flasher' and when I beep once he calls back immediately.

6. Respect:
Does he respect you both in private and in public places, or is he the one who is quick to correct you in a loud voice in front of your friends or even strangers? A man who really loves you will never disrespect you in front of others. A man who loves you won't joke about your weight when you are with other people, he won't allow anyone to disrespect you either, how does he treat his friends, even your own friends, what about your family members what does he say about them? When he misbehaves the first time when you are in a public place wait until you are alone then tell him what he did wrong, if he apologises and promises not to repeat such you can forgive but if he brushes it off then its time to leave him.

7. Your Opinion Matters:
You have got opinions too dearie, and a man who loves you should know that too. Does he seek your advice or opinion on things? And if he does when you give it does it brush it aside and feel oh you are only a woman you dont know anything. Dearie it will continue that way if you go ahead and marry such a person. He would feel he doesnt need to tell you when he wants to buy a new car, or change jobs, he would just do it without asking for your input. Be wise dearies.

8. Goals, Visions and Aspirations:
What are his goals in life? And how are you going to help align his goals with yours. you should be able to know what is aspirations are? Ask him questions? Be careful of someone who you asked 'darling what do you hope to achieve in the next 5 years' and he answers ' well I don't know yet we see how it goes' hey no,  he should be able to draw out his plans no matter how big they are especially if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. 

Well there you are, I hope with this lil tips we have been able to look deep into our relationship and find out if we are on the right path.

What do you think? Please you can also leave your thoughts and comments too cos I would love to read it all.

Thanks for stopping by.





  1. Great post as always!
    I have a lil problem with the 'don't settle for less' part.
    You see, alotta girls have standards as high as skyscrapers and very unreliastic ones too.
    I'm not saying we shouldn't have standards but sometimes God knows what's best for us.
    We can have reasonable standards that we choose not to compromise.
    For instance, I would never ever marry a short man (so help me God), reason being that I'm super short and like you said, I'm tryna put my future babies into consideration here.
    The bottom line is, we can't always have all that we want but if we get 70%, I think its a good deal, right?

    1. Thanks darling moi, lol @ standards as high as skyscrapers thats very true, I wonder why some girls would have such standards when they themselves can't meet their own standards, yes we should have standards and once we align it with God's then we are good to go.

      Lol same here told myself that before I got married that I wouldnt marry a short man cos I am short too.

      Yes 70% is just fine.

  2. Hi, I am pregnant too and in real need of trendy maternity work clothes. I live in Nigeria. Can u help pls?

    1. Hi dearie, aww congratulations please send me an email: lets talk. And I can help.

  3. Interesting post

  4. great post. thanks for the valid points.

  5. Lovely tips. I garnered from your post that a man will carry on with his behaviour from relationship to marriage. Valid. Great post. Loved it.

    1. Thanks dearie, yes a man would do that, we shouldnt expect we can change anyone only God can and if a man is not willing to change before marriage there is a tendency he wont when he is married.

  6. Nice tips. But in my own case,there's dis guy who's ready even ready 2 marry me but I don't know if I should accept him as I just don't know what to do.

    1. Thanks hun, if you want you can email me and we would talk


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